To start off, I have two brothers and I'm the youngest. The oldest brother moved out apparently when he got his girlfriend pregnant with my nephew. (My memory is vague, but I'm trying my best to write it from my childhood memory vault) He moved out after that and I think he moved back in when they separated. He picked up again and found a new girlfriend and moved out again. Had a baby girl. Then married her. I love those two kids to death.

The 2nd older brother of mine, lives here with us most of the time and spends also an ample amount of time traveling. I love how my brother is a travel journalist/enthusiast. He's a very smart person and very private. So, when he decides to move out on his own without any hard reason (like just an adult, like not a "baby" reason), just to move out to be near from his work, it's anew for my parents.

(I hope they never see this blog! Haha this picture is priceless!)

Oldest - one in green shirt and the other one is in the black and white shirt. That's my mom in the middle.

So that means, my brother is moving out and I'm left here. Not left out, but like left here.

I don't quite know what I feel about it, maybe that's why I'm writing about it. I don't know if I like it, but I don't also know if I dislike it. It's more of haven't-made-up-my-mind-yet.

It's like I somehow feel slightly pressured as the only child living here. But as the youngest, I should've known that, I thought I did. I would be the one to take care of my parents when they get old. It's not like in America when children are out of college and working, the parents are left home alone. Here in my culture, the children are the ones who take care and love their parents as they grow old. It's not that I don't want to, I really want to do that for them so much because I want to give back all they have done for me. But for the mean time, you know in my 20's where I want to satisfy my wanderlust and work really hard and all that, I don't want them to want me here all the time. I hope not, because I would be clearly unhappy. I want to live my life to the fullest the way I know how and I hope they support that.

I somehow imagined myself living in a small cool apartment near from work in the future for some time, but I think this changes things. I'm not sure. Before, I always thought of moving away from all this and moving on to greener pastures. New people, experiences and adventure, something that necessitates me to leave my comfort zone. I want it for myself because I think it's an experience that will help me grow. Overcoming milestones in life that define me. I also want it because of the fact that I want to make my parents my proud of me. I want enough money to buy them what they want and all that jazz. It's consoling to know that they're always there to come back to. I also want enough money for myself, of course. I want them to support me in what I choose to do with my life. 

I'm human, I'll make mistakes and screw up but that just makes me a better person. We learn from our mistakes and we move forward. I want to give back to my parents but I also want a life for me and if I believe I can have both, I know I can. I need not to worry because everything is going to be amazing.