As I sat with my mother and her friend at lunch and we were watching TV, it always occurred to me that they were very "judgey" of people on screen. I always just shut them out, but sometimes they were just too much, just like today and I can't help myself but vent out my soon-to-explode feelings.

They notice if someone is showing off her stomach and there's a little flab showing, they think it's shameful. When in fact, that person's stomach is just okay. She's actually pretty, it's normal and.. so little. They always reprimand girls wearing crop tops or something very sexy when she's got a voluptuous body. Most especially, what tipped me off is that when the girl in the TV show said that you can be sexy even if you're not skinny it's just if you're confident and happy with who you are that exudes sexiness and I think that was right.  Because being sexy is a state of mind. But they completely disagreed with that, even laughed at it.

It's completely mad.

 I was boiling inside after that. I even butted in the conversation, when she said shockingly that girls now are taught that if you like crop tops or stuff you should wear it, even if it's showing off flabs. They said it like big girls aren't allowed to enjoy certain clothing items because of their size, like it's an abomination. I can't help but unleash my snarky comments, "Okay lang naman magsuot sila ng ganun eh. Ano naman." Everybody should wear what they like and everyone just needs to fucking deal with it. You should wear it, feel it and flaunt it. FUCK THEM. Whatever you do they'll judge you anyway so fuck them.

If it makes them feel happy why do you care to bring them down? If they like crop tops or figure-hugging dresses, why should you say something? They like to wear it, they feel good in it, they are normal human beings what size they are. So, anong problema niyo ba sakanila?

What do they want to show off in screen? People with perfect bodies only? IT'S NOT NORMAL. Real beauty doesn't have to be skinny or modelesque They have this warped image of girls in their mind that your body is not beautiful unless they looked a certain way. It's like they judge or comment on everything they see and it drives me nuts. I actually lost my appetite and took a bit of time composing myself not to feel angry, and then I started venting out here.

Maybe that's why I grew up this way. Of wanting to look prettier or skinnier all the time, or maybe it's just they way of teenage girls now... It's a sad reality. Always thinking that they have to mold into what society thinks is beautiful. But it's kind of sad because we are the society. We blame them, but we are them. I just want to put up my middle finger so bad to anyone whose so close-minded.

Maybe I don't think that way anymore... maybe I just want to look healthy and beautiful for myself. To feel good about myself, to be happy. Fuck what everyone else thinks but sometimes when I hear my mom and her friend being snobby bitches, it just gets in my nerves.

See this?

We're all beautiful so please shut the fuck up.

No matter what size or color or whatever else you look like, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. I'll just keep reminding everyone that. Especially when I have a daughter, I'll remind her everyday that she's beautiful.